Speedy Video Special: Retelling of the Battle of the Gods
by YFIQ
Summary: A retelling of the latest DBZ movie in a style of perhaps the greatest dub ever! Will Bills find a worthy challenge from the saiya people? Who will save the Earth star from destruction?
1. Saiya People!

**Author's note: Just look up "Malaysian DBZ" on YouTube and you'll get it. Also I took some liberties so it's not a full retelling of "Battle of the Gods" because otherwise it would have taken much more time.**

**Also, one of the color commentators from "Love on Delivery" will make a guest appearance as he'll briefly take over the narrative toward the end of this chapter when SSJ 2 Vegeta fights Bills.**

* * *

A voice that sounded like Christopher Walken calls out to Goku.

"Goku...Goku!"

Goku looks up and said, "Yes ma lord?"

"Goku, there's this a very traablesome man arriving at yo prace." the voice said.

"Traablesome?"

"Yaaa, traablesome...he make stop at my star first then at yours."

King Kai sighed and wonder why of all times, Bills, the god of destruction would wake up and do something. It wasn't long until Goku appears right in front of him, causing him and his pet monkey, Bubbles to jump at the same time.

Goku smiles and said, "Traablesome man is going to come so I come and fight!"

"Nooooooooooooooooo...Goku, I know this traablesome man, I played video game and won him, then he brew up my star so now all I have left is this small star." said King Kai.

Then Bills and Whis shows up.

"I hurd suppa saiya people beat Frieza so I come to fight." said Bills.

King Kai was horrified and said, "Goku, don't fight Burls."

But Goku came toward Bills and said, "High, I'm Goku, the suppa saiya people, lets go fight!"

"No Goku, there's a big difference between yo powwa red powwa!" King Kai protested.

Whis claps his hands and said, "Don't take too much time, we go to Earth star to see Earth people."

"Okay Whis." said Bills.

As the god of destruction and the super saiya people who defeated Frieza prepared to square off, Bills then said, "Go full streeeenf, I want you to show yo troo shit!"

"Okay, I go suppa saiya people up to three times, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" said Goku as he begins to power up to his strongest form.

After growing out his ridiculously long blonde hair, making him resemble an '80s rocker, Goku then stares calmly at Bills and said, "Let's fight!"

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Ooooooooh!"

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"..."

Meanwhile at Earth, Vegeta was busy training inside a spaceship when King Kai calls to him.

"Beta...Beta!"

Angered at the fact that his training have been interrupted, the prince of saiya people said, "What you want?"

"It's Burls, a powerful man is coming to your star." was the answer.

"Burls?"

Vegeta remembers the time when Bills came to his home star where he steps on King Vegeta. Remembering how his father have been humiliated in front of everyone without a fight, not to mention the fact that he bowed down to the god of destruction without trying to make a move, the prince of saiya people scoffs and said, "I don't care of Burls, I don't live in long time ago so don't care anymore!"

"But he defeated Goku at suppa saiya people up to three times easy!"

Vegeta then craps himself.

"He defeated Goku at suppa saiya people up to three times easy?"

"Vegeta, Burls come on his way, don't make him cry angry!"

As Vegeta was about to make a dash to where Bulma's party happens to be taking place, he saw Bills and his assistant, waiting for him.

"Um...Burls?"

Bills smiles and said, "So you're big now Beta...I smell food."

"Looks like someone's have a party." said Whis.

"Yes there is a party, you guys come, there are food!" Vegeta said.

Bills smiles and said, "The food betta be good, I don't want useless fight or I'll brew up your star."

"I promise, you get ta food, I host the party!" said the prince of saiya people.

As the three made their way to where Bulma's birthday party is being held, Bulma came and said, "Beta, who is yo frands?"

Before Vegeta could answer, Bills and Whis went to participate in the festivities where everyone happens to be having a good time. Unbeknownst to everyone, Goku's old foes, Pilaf and co. snuck into the party as well, hoping to find the Dragon Balls so they can use it to help them rule the world just like old times (sometime before that, they wished themselves into kids).

As the three were ready to take the Dragon Balls, someone walks in and said, "Hey, what are yo dooing?"

Then his friend, Goten walks in and said, "Who they?"

Trunks grabs one of Pilaf's lackeys and said, "She is my girrlflend!"

Back at the party, Bills was break dancing to an unedited Eminem song and later on, hoping to please the two uninvited guests, Vegeta took part in a karaoke where he proceeds to butcher _My Way_ by Frank Sinatra, making Yui Hirasawa's rendition of _Hey Jude_ sound like a Grammy winning masterpiece. Things went well and Vegeta figured that soon the god of destruction and his effeminate assistant would leave the star in peace. But unfortunately, the unthinkable would occur when Gohan took one shot too many and became juuuuuuust a bit smashed.

After watching Piccolo butchering Sam Hui's _Choi San Dou_, Gohan decides to hit the bottles in order to get away from all those awful karaoke performances. It wasn't long after he downs his seventh bottle that Pilaf and co. appears with Trunks and Goten.

The wannabe emperor's hench woman, Mai whom Trunks took as his girlfriend pulls out a gun and points it at Trunks' head, saying, "Give me Dragon Balls or I open gun on this keed!"

Everyone shrugged and continues on their merry ways until Mai yelled, "I am seris, if you don't give me Dragon Balls, i will open the gun on this kid."

Goten and Trunks started to wonder if Pilaf was even aware of what they're capable of since the wannabe emperor thinks a bullet would hurt them.

Then Gohan, who became inebriated stumbles right in front of the gang and said, "You don't scar me, open gun on me...open window on me...open the gun on me..." as he pushes the button on his wrist watch to switch into his Saiyapeopleman costume.

"Open the gun on me."

Mai opens fire on Gohan who proceeds to deflect bullets like it was nothing until one hits his fiancee, Videl in the leg while another hits Bills in the face.

As Chi Chi went to scold her son for getting drunk and caused his fiance to get hurt, Dende, who happens to be invited came and heal Videl where he notice something about her.

"Yo plagnant?" he said.

Videl nods and said, "It's going to be suplise for Gohan, don't tell."

Bills on the other hand became angry and said, "I'm going to brew up the staa!"

Then Whis came and said, "Wait Burls, I hud ther's a pudding arond."

"Pudding? I get some and star won't brew up!" said Bills.

As the two guys went to get some puddings, they saw a pink bubblegum monster with immunity to diabetes hogging dozens of cups of sweet dessert.

"Can I haav sum?" asked Bills.

"No!" said Buu as he gulped down every cups at once.

Then Bills powers up and said, "This tom I brew up the staa!"

Frightened by this, Vegeta yelled, "Burls, prease cum down!"

But Bills refused to listen so all the Z fighters in the party except for Vegeta at that point took action, only to get dispatched by the god of destruction who only armed himself with a pair of chopsticks. It gets worse in Piccolo's case who have shown that he had seen better days as he sung terrible karoake and gets taken out by light taps on his pressure points by a pair of chopsticks in the same day.

Seeing that there's no choice, Vegeta decides to take on Bills himself and was taken down with little effort. Then Goten and Trunks fused together hoping to take on Bills and...

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah."

Then the fusion ended after the spanking.

Bulma, angered by the carnage at the party, walks up to Bills and slaps him.

Then in return, Bills knocks her to the ground.

Vegeta became angry and yelled,"Not mah buruma!" and powers up where he fights fiercely!

As the two squares off, Vegeta hits Bills with his **Wonder Fist**, a technique so powerful that it hurts like hell, but Bills doesn't give a damn as he shrugs it off and use his supernatural power to confuse the prince of saiya people!

Then Vegeta blast Bills with everything he have, only to see Bills unscathed!

Horrified by this, Vegeta then tearfully shouts, "God, prease spare de Earth!"

Bills then touch the pressure point on Vegeta's forehead, instantly blacking out the prince of saiya people.


	2. A Man Called Goku

**Narrator: One day at the Takamachi household, Nanoha and her sibling were watching a Malaysian dub of DBZ movie.**

**Tullece: Let's be friends *breaks Gohan's hand***

**Gohan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!**

**Nanoha (five at the time): Is that how people make friends?**

**Narrator: Since then, Nanoha's view on making friends would never be the same.**

* * *

After defeating the Z fighters without breaking a sweat, Bills calls out to his assistant, saying, "Pizz, there is no super saiya people god afterraw, let's go and brew up this star!"

"Oh, juts ta secund, tis sushee is gooda!" Whis answered.

Bills sweat drops.

"Okey, fine, few moar minetes and I brew up the star."

After Whis was done with his meal, Bills' friend flew off without paying the tab and said, "Tum to go!"

The god of destruction begins to create a massive energy ball and yell, "Now dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" when a familiar voice said, "Ho on a secund, I can get yoo the suppa saiya people god!"

Bills stops and saw Goku, the saiya people whom he had defeated just hours ago.

"How yoo dudat?" asked Bills.

"I ask Shenlong to breng him too yo."

So after Goku gather the Dragon Balls and summon the dragon from the seven magical balls, the saiya people said, "Can yoo breng the suppa saiya people god to Earth star?"

The dragon said, "No, the suppa saiya people don't exeest."

Bills became impatient and said, "See? No suppa saiya people god, tom to brew up Earth star and go bak to ma star."

Seeing Bills right behind Goku, Shenlong shudders and said, "W-well, der is a man the suppa saiya people god based frum, five good saiya people gave a saiya people powa and made him into suppa saiya people god."

"Real?" Goku asked.

"Yaa, but powa run out and suppa saiya people dies because too much bad saiya people." said the dragon.

"Bye bye."

After the dragon disappears, the seven magical balls flew into the air and scattered all over the planet, waiting to be discovered in a year's time.

"So five good saiya people huh? Shood be good." Goku thought to himself.

Then Piccolo came and said, "There's only three good saiya people, it won't happen, Trunks went to get girrlflend at yun age and Beta's did many bad things."

Then Dende, Piccolo's fellow Namek people came and said, "While Beta done many bad things, he also turn good after many years."

"Okay, les do tis!" Goku yelled.

"But why should Kakarot be the suppa saiya people god? I don't wont to hump him!" Vegeta complained.

"We haav no chois Beta, Goku has the bets chaance to beat Burls!" said Piccolo.

And so Vegeta, Gohan, Goten, and Trunks each held hands to give Goku the power he needed to become a suppa saiya people god. As they power up, the Namek people, Piccolo realize something's off...why didn't Goku transform into a suppa saiya people god?

"It is not good, tere is four 'good' saiya people, we need five!" the Namek people shout.

Then Videl came and said, "Wait, there is one saiya people who cun hep!"

Hearing this, Vegeta said, "But Tubble lives far away, he can not hep!"

Then Videl's father, Mr. Satan said, "Videl, yo can't meme me, I'm not saiya people!"

"No, not dis, troof is...I'm plagnant!" said Videl.

Piccolo looks to see Bulma and Vegeta glaring at him for his statement about Trunks earlier.

"Okay, les do dis again!" said Goku.

Once again, Vegeta, Gohan, Goten, Trunks, and the time along with Videl hold hands to help power up Goku and soon, the saiya people's power begin to rise dramatically to the point that it went way past his limit. After few minutes went by, Goku's aura change from yellow to red flame like glow, bearing a resemblance to a long forgotten technique Goku have dropped due to its infamous side effects from overuse.

Piccolo wasn't impressed and said, "Suppa saiya people god? It is verry lazy."

Bills finished drinking cocktail that he ordered and said, "So, tis is ta suppa saiya people god I haav bin waiting for?"

"Let us fight!"

Soon, suppa saiya people god Goku and Bills squares where they went to fight fiercely, causing a mountain shattering vibration with each blow. The sound of the punches can be heard from around the world but unfortunately, in a world where the majority of the populations believes that the reigning martial arts tournament champion, Mr. Satan is the strongest man in the planet, they thought it's a sound of firecrackers set off by the ever over the top Capsule Corporation.

The suppa saiya people god and the god of destruction fought all over the air and several times they would give chase, bringing the fight all over the planet. It got to the point that the two lands onto the top of the Statue of Liberty where they would stand still and stare at each other for several minutes until one of them finally decides to talk about Goku's newfound god mode which Bills have been looking to fight for his entire life.

"Whut do ew theenk abutt yo new suppa saiya people powwa?" asked Bills.

Goku looks on gloomly and said, "Um disappointed."

"Why?"

"The reesin is becus I deend nit do tis by myself, I deed et with help from five saiya people." was the answer.

Angered by this, Bills knocked off one of the spikes from the crown of the statue and Goku leaped back to avoid getting hit. But then the god of destruction knocks off another part of the crown and kicks the spike toward the brain damaged saiya people. Goku was able to knock the spike right back at Bills who then proceeds to smack it into the head of the statue, decapitating it.

"Impersseve, last tum I defeat yo withaat breaking a swat." said Bills.

However, it did little to make Goku feel any better as he knows that the power wasn't obtained all by himself so he continues to look at Bills with a gloom look on his face. Annoyed by this look, Bills zips toward Goku and punches him through the statue, causing the rubbles to rain down on some of the curious onlookers who didn't take the opportunity to flee until it was too late.

"Is tat all yo gut? Tas is ta suppa saiya people god powwa? I'm only uzing sevandy persand of ma powwa!" Bills yelled.

But then Goku grins and said, "Yo real? I'm uzing eightee persand of ma powwa!"

This only serves to cause Bills to punch Goku harder, sending him flying across the country before he could respond to the assault.

"Yo plide won't geet yo nowhare!" Bills yelled.

As the two fighters flies right past several cities and a landscape where the dinosaurs looks on in shock, Bills then yell, "Tat es taa powwa of suppa saiya people god? You disappoted me!" before landing a blow into Goku's stomach, sending him flying further into a cave.

Bills flies into the cave and saw Goku ready to attack when suddenly, the saiya people's suppa saiya people god aura vanished!


	3. Gimme Gimme Powwa, Lotsa Lotsa Powwa!

**Narrator: One day, a young hippie comes across a little green creature known as the saibaman.**

**Hippie: Oh you poor creature, you're all alone.**

**Saibaman: *looks at the hippie***

**Hippie: You could use a hug, come to me my friend!**

**Narrator: *plays _All By Myself_ from the radio* Hehehe...**

**Saibaman: *runs toward the hippie***

**Hippie: *runs toward the saibaman***

**Saibaman: *hugs the hippie and self-destructs***

**Hippie: Wait a min-*explodes***

**Narrator: Okay, now back to the story...what a horrible smell.  
**

* * *

Goku's friends and family were watching the battle between the suppa saiya people god and the god of destruction when they realize that the fight would range all over the planet. With that, everyone including some characters that almost everyone have forgotten about such as Krillin, Yamcha, Roshi among others tries to keep the pace of the battle.

"Gookoo is fighting Burls!" said Roshi.

"I can't see." said Krillin.

Then Bulma said, "I have a pane, lets go and folluw tem!"

And so some of Goku's friends and family dash into the ship while others who can fly...well, they flew.

The Z fighters and Bulma's ship gave chase in order to follow the fight but it wasn't easy as the spped of the two warriors are so intense that even a certain speeding hedgehog would cry upon seeing the fight himself. However, the Z fighters were able to listen to the forces of punches that are strong enough to shatter mountains and soon, may of the birds that tries to leave where blown to bits by the shockwave.

"It's tem, Goku and Burls are fughting!" Krillin yells.

Meanwhile, Vegeta continues to seeth in jealousy as he watches his greatest rival fighting against the god of destruction who once ate his late home planet's majority of its food supply.

"Kakarot, yew betta not loose, ew hear me? Beat tat god!" Vegeta yells.

But then the two fighters flew into a cave and all the heroes and the civilians could use is wait as they can hear the noise coming from underground. In fact, the fight caused the ground to shake as many animals and dinosaurs begin to leave in fright.

An anamorphic pig, Oolong who is inside the aircraft shivered and said, "I got gooseflesh!"

"It is pig flesh!" Bulma said as she bonks the pig in the head.

Puar, Yamcha's pet flying talking cat laughs at Oolong's plight.

After several minutes of waiting, the two warriors suddenly emerge from the underground and to their surprise, Goku's no longer in suppa saiya people god form...this time he's covered with plain yellow aura, the saiya people is now in his regular suppa saiya people form. Even more surprising, in spite of losing his suppa saiya people god form, Goku's still able to keep up with the crazy purple cat!

The Z fighters watches in awe as a ball of purple and yellow aura continues to clash in the sky until they both disappears.

"I can't see." said Krillin.

Then several minutes later, a blast of blue energy explodes, lighting up the sky and they all recognize what that is.

"Goku used Kamehameha!" Krillin yells as Roshi struggles to keep his sunglasses from getting blown away.

Seconds later, a mass of blue energy quickly dissipates and a ball of orange energy appears and soon, the entire planet begins to shake and the Z fighters realize that Goku's losing the battle.

"Goku!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaah, we die!" Mr. Satan yells.

Will Goku be able to show Bills his true shit in time?

* * *

As Bills and Goku were about to square off in the battle of a lifetime, Goku's fiery red aura disappears.

Bills screams as he charges toward the former suppa saiya people god, only for the saiya people to be able to fight him off through the small droplets of water that seemingly slows down. After Goku manages to hit Bills, the droplets of water falls and the view suddenly speeds right back up to the way it was as the god of destruction begins a countermeasure against the saiya people.

However, Goku then teleports right behind Bills and hits him.

Before Bills could react, the saiya people teleports again in an attempt to ambush the god of destruction, only to get dodged and knocked across the cave.

Soon, Bills begins to spam the entire place with ki blasts, forcing Goku to dodge and yell, "What ta heck man? You use range attax!"

As the saiya people continues to dodge the spam attacks, Bills then yells, "We are naught praying sportsa!" moments before being struck in the back by Goku who teleported once again. The assault only serves to anger Bills who then spams the entire cave with even more energy beams, causing the place to cave in as Goku has to avoid the stalagmites raining down on him even though it wouldn't have done anything to him as the event doesn't take place in a infamous "sequel" series known as...*gulp* _Dragon Ball GT_. _  
_

Why am I doing this to myself? As long you're reading this, I might as well make you suffer as well, BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hey, bear with me as I'm not going to suffer alone, we're in this together!

Anyway, back to the retelling, after a bunch of rocks starts to fall on Goku, the saiya people then yell, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" and powers up, causing the yellow aura to explode right out of his body.

With the burst of power he needed, Goku zips through the rocks and right out of the underground cave where Bills gave chase. Soon, a ball of purple and yellow aura begins to clash as Goku's family and friends watches in awe. Even more surprising, in spite of losing his suppa saiya people god form, Goku's still able to keep up with the crazy purple cat!

The Z fighters watches in awe as a ball of purple and yellow aura continues to clash in the sky until they both disappears.

"I can't see." said Krillin.

As the suppa saiya people and the god of destruction continues to beat the crap out of each other, they flew right out of the Earth's atmosphere where the clash would drag into space.

After the two exchanged series of punches to each other, Goku then yells, "You used ranged attax, I use it too!"

Then the suppa saiya people proceeds to teleport spam around Bills, confusing the purple cat until...a blue energy beam heads straight towards him as Goku yells, "Aaaaaaaaaaaah, you dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

The beam hits Bills dead on and the blue ball of energy grew, enveloping the god of destruction and several satellites before it quickly dissipates, leaving the purple cat completely unscathed.

"Ha!"

But then the suppa saiya people was nowhere to be seen until Bills notice Goku attempting to ambush him from the side so he quickly dodges it before raising his arms and said, "It's mah tun!"

The purple cat then creates and orange energy ball that resembles a miniature sun and throws it at the suppa saiya people who makes an attempt to block it, declaring, "I block tis fling!"

Unfortunately, just as Goku does so, the orange energy ball begins to push the suppa saiya people down towards Earth, placing the planet in danger of its second destruction. Not only that, the planet have been wished back through the use of Dragon Balls once before, if it gets destroyed again, it'll never be brought back through this method unless the Namek people are kind enough to lend theirs once again as they have done so the previous time.

Knowing that he can't let the planet get destroyed for the second time, Goku continues to try to push the energy ball back but the situation grew worse as Bills fires another blast of energy into the ball, increasing its size in a matter of seconds.

"Time to show yo troo shit suppa saiya people!" Bills yells as he continues to expand his destructive energy ball.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah, I won't leta you brew up the Earth star!" Goku grunts as he continues to struggle against the mighty force of destruction.

The purple cat grins and said, "Do yo no tat yo not in suppa saiya people god for while?"

"What yo sayin?" Goku demands.

"Yo suppa saiya people god wuz gun at ta cave, yo using regala suppa saiya people now and still keep up with me!" Bills answers.

"Carap, heez right, ma suppa saiya people god did wear arf!" Goku thought.

"Keep up with me, yo haav sucked in suppa saiya people god powwa, a genius!" Bills declares.

Goku couldn't make out Bills' compliment since he never meant to absorb his suppa saiya people god power or otherwise he would have done it from the start before his god mode wore off back at the underground cave. That's when the saiya people realize that had he been able to absorb his suppa saiya people god power earlier and combine it with his regular suppa saiya people mode, maybe then he could have easily won against the god of destruction who also happens to be a purple cat with an obsession with puddings and a eating habit just as bad as his own.

"I caaaan't give up!" said Goku as he tries to exert as much effort as possible, only to be pushed back by the energy ball.

"By sucking the powwa of ta suppa saiya people god, yo show yo true shit saiya people!" said Bills.

"Too bad yo die now."

Soon, Goku begins to black out from exhaustion and begin to feel his body floating in an endless void of space where he has been surrounded by nothing but total darkness, not even a light can penetrate through.

It's like he's been drifting in the inside of the black hole without the strong gravitational pull.

But then, the saiya people could see his loved ones appearing in front of him, one by one until the entire gang were there, even Mark Satan of all people!

Goku can see them cheering him on and with the encouragement he needed, the saiya people regains consciousness and turns suppa saiya people. Almost immediately afterward, Goku powers up even further and the glowing red flame explodes out of his body, somehow regaining his suppa saiya people god form and soon, he begins to push back the massive orange energy ball.

That's when the unthinkable happens, instead of actually pushing it away from the planet, saving it from getting destroyed for the second time, instead the suppa saiya people god accidentally absorbs the orange energy ball. Once that was over, Bills became surprised and said, "Yo sucked my ball...what do yuu doo?" to the exhausted saiya people whose shirt was burned off in the ordeal.

"What I do, I dunt know." the saiya people answers.

Bills still couldn't believe what he just saw, his orange energy ball being negated and absorbed...surely this saiya people could very well become the kind of fighter he have been looking for his entire life, it is the only explanation. But then again, remembering how his pet talking fish made a prophecy that a suppa saiya people god would rise up and stand up to him, the god of destruction thought that maybe this person being foretold can be the one to defeat him. Turns out it wasn't the case as the so-called suppa saiya people god wasn't able to beat him and in some ways...he's glad and disappointed at the same time, after all, while he hates losing...he also wanted a real challenge and a possible successor as well.

After being lost in thought, the purple cat then said, "Tat oracle feesh said a suppa saiya people god would cum and beat me, wat en exaggerashun."

Then he continues, "Still, yo are ta secend stwongest I fight in ma lifetum."

This stuns Goku as he did manage to give Bills a run for his money for a brief moment so he ask, "If I'm nut numba one, who es?"

Bills points to his partner, Whis who happens to be observing them for sometime and he was ready to eat a bowl of ice cream he just bought.

"Oh hay!"

Bills waves back at Whis and said, "Pizz taught me to fught and I fught well."

"Wow, ther are many stwong people." said Goku.

"Tat nut aw, ther ez twelve universes and each has one god of destrushun people." Bills continues.

"Wow, ther are many stwong people." said Goku.

"Tis es teh seven universe!"

"Wow, ther are many stwong people."

After few minutes of awkward silence while Whis finishes eating his ice cream, the three heads back to Earth where Goku's friends and family are waiting.

"Goku!"

"Gookoo!"

"Guku!"

"Hey!" Goku yells as he begins to collapse from exhaustion.

"Goku!"

Dende, the Namek people catches the saiya people just before he falls to the ground and said, "Es okay, Goku's tired from ta fughting and I'll juts heal him so hes powwa will cum back."

Then the Namek people heals him.

"Okay, tum to die." said Bills as he begins to power up his energy blast, leaving Goku and the others watch helplessly as the planet faces its second impending destruction yet again.

A purple blast was fired, leaving a small crater on the ground.

"Smo Earth." said Whiss.

"Yaas, Earth star didn't get blow up cuss I'm tired, I do tis andotha tum." said Bills.

As the two were ready to leave, Bulma came and yell, "Next tum I make moor pudding!"

Bills nods in approval and said, "Bye bye!"

Later that night as everyone resumes their festivities, Goku decides to discuss something with Bulma and Vegeta.

"Kakarot, next tum I becum suppa saiya people god!" said Vegeta.

"It coold happen, maybe Burls can het buruma again and yo can do et easy." said Goku.

Hearing this, Bulma then demands an explanation from Goku.

"Goku, if yo was watching tat tum, why don't ew hep!"

Goku scratches the back of his head and said, "I want to see if Burls has weaknuss, too bad there are nun." with a chuckle before attempting to change the subject by heading to the buffet line.

"If I don't eat rice ta powwa won't cum!"

But then Bulma grabs Goku by his hair and said, "Nut sa fast, yo didn't hep us early, Beta, lets beat hem up!"

"Okay!" said Vegeta as he begins to grin.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

After waking up with a scream, he looks around and realizes that the whole thing was just a dream.

"It's just a dream...thank god."

Then Whis comes in and said, "Bills, you got up earlier than I have expected, it's still six months before your awakening."

Bills breathes a sigh of relief and said, "How long was I suppose to sleep."

"Three years, it's been two and a half so far...but as long you're awake, we can still pass the time." said Whis.

"Screw this!" said the purple cat as he went back to sleep.

"Before you try to go back to sleep, need I remind you why you woke up screaming?"

"Shut up Whis!"

"If you go back to sleep after that amount of time have passed after that nightmare, it can still return."

The god of destruction shot up wide awake and said, "Oh god no!"


	4. Bills and Whis' Bogus Adventure!

"So what was it that you dreamt?"

Bills groans and said, "Can you please stop calling me that?"

"As I recall, that's what your colleagues calls you." said Whis.

"They were picking on me, they always have and I hate them...it's Beerus, Beerus! Get it right!" demands Bills.

"Pardon me, being that you have been referred by your nickname for so long, everyone practically forgotten your real name." said Whis.

"They always pick on me, I can't stand them!" said Bills.

"That's how it is as you are among the weaker ones, that's why I'm here to help you become stronger." said Whis.

"So anyway, what was that dream?"

Bills rubs his eyes and said, "Remember that event with the suppa saiya peop-I mean Super Saiyan God?"

"Yes, I do remember as I was there." said Whis.

"It's the same as before, except I was Goku...and everybody was talking funny."

"Really? How funny?"

Bills sighs and said, "You have no idea, any longer I could develop brain cancer...enough time have passed, it shouldn't return now, heh." before falling back to sleep.

Whis takes out a microphone and said, "You always decides when to wake up, seeing that the alarm clocks won't do much as they're all set several months from now...how about you listen to my karaoke? I took the liberty to purchase that album from a musical band from Earth who apparently lives at the back of the street judging by the name and all, good time as any to practice."

The purple cat's assistant then taps the microphone several time and said, "Okay...everybody...rock your body yeah..."

The purple cat then flops right out of his bed and rolls down several floating rocks before getting to the floor of his room.

"2 years and a half...it's not even a break." said Bills before rolling on the floor and continues, "Just five more minutes please..."

Later that morning, Bills continues to roll on the ground all the way to the kitchen where breakfast is served. After climbing his way to the chair, the god of destruction flops back and relax.

"So Whis, what are we going to do to pass the time?" he asks.

"It is up to you, however, you must be careful as you always have trouble containing your own temper, especially when things doesn't go your way." Whis answers.

"What are you talking about?" Bills shot back.

"Remember what happened when Goku's friends did something to irk you? Then there's the pudding incident with Majin Buu when he refused to give some to us."

Bills rolls his eyes, licks his paw and said, "You know what that fat slob have done, he has no manners and didn't have the decency to share even after somebody asked him to. People like him should die a horrible death, I bet he even stuff his face in front of poor people for laughs."

"Well, you're not any better as you also stuff your face as well and remember, this isn't the first time we actually came into somebody's birthday party uninvited." said Whis.

"Yes I remember, but at least that witch has the kind of sense of humor anyone would appreciate, but then that other witch and her servants annoys me, especially that one chick named 'Beelzebub'...why are those girls named after demons?" said Bills.

Whis chuckles and said, "You know, when you think about it, you're quite similar to some of them, especially..."

"Shut it!" Bills snaps.

"This is boring, what are we going to do for the next six months?" he continues.

Whis then said, "Well, one of your comrades is asleep so I made an arrangement for us to visit his universe."

Bills shot up and said, "Really? What are we going to do? Which universe is it?"

After Whis tells Bills the universe they're going to enter, the purple cat then laughs and said, "His universe? Hahahaha, that really sucks to be him!"

"Still, it's better if you try not to make mess of things over trivial matters like you have always done. Even with your status as a god of destruction, it's still a bit much in the time you woke up...then again the time you spend sleeping did lead to a huge surplus of planets created have far outweigh the numbers you have destroyed." said Whis.

"Yeah but it's a lot of work and many of those planets are far away, I'll have to use more energy to get there and do my job." Bills whines.

"You're always like this, especially when you don't get what you want." said Whis.

"How? So I got mad because that fat slob ate those puddings, but that's one time!"

"Remember when you ordered Frieza to blow up Planet Vegeta because King Vegeta wasn't able to treat you to a better banquet?"

Hearing this, Bills mutters.

"Or the time when you blew up the Northern Kai's planet because you lost a game to him?"

"Before that you destroyed Planet Curry along with the rest of the solar system it resides in because the inhabitants' accent annoyed you and their food was too spicy."

"Prior to that while on your way to Planet Curry, a spaceship flew by and you thought the pilot was trying to hit you."

Then Bills yell, "He was trying to hit me, didn't you see that?"

"From twelve feet away?" said Whis.

"Then you did something unlike you...you flew through the window and smashed the pilot's head right through the back of the ship." he continues.

"Okay, I get it already, you don't have to bring them up, it's the past." Bills yell.

"It happens, you have done many things and the only reason you were able to get away with it and still can it's because of your job description. Had any other being done the same, it would have been considered as genocide." said Whis.

"Enough already, why are you still picking on me?"

"So anyway, what planet are we going to visit in that universe?"

"Well, first I have to adjust my staff so I'll have to go to the storage room to replace the orb with a multipurpose kind that allows us to transport to another dimension, but as you also recall the last time it's been used, it also cuts down on the speed so you will have to travel by yourself rather than holding onto me." said Whis.

Several minutes later...

"Okay, it's ready!" Whis declares.

"So am I, let's go!" Bills boasts.

Whis powers up his staff and fires a beam to the wall, creating a portal to the another dimension.

Seeing the portal, Bills then said, "On second thought, maybe tomorrow, it looks kind of dizzy."

Whis shakes his head and said, "Come on Bills, I thought you said that you're ready and all your fellow colleagues are laughing as we speak as they..."

Bills was long gone before he could finish his sentence.

"Guess he really is ready, guess calling him by that nickname he hates works wonders...off we go!"

As the two travels through the portal, Whis became enamored by the beauty of the portal that he said, "It's fabulous!"

Bills groans in response as he covers his ears.

"This is almost as bad as your karoake singing!"

The light at the end of the tunnel.

* * *

**Author's note: The next chapter will feature a little misadventure of Bills and Whis as they will encounter planets featuring inhabitants that aren't what they seem to be at first glance. **

**Can the duo avoid making mess of things in the universe that they do not belong in?**

**More importantly, what adventure will lie ahead?**

**Not to mention, what movie reference will they encounter?**

**Find out in the next chapter!**


	5. Bills and Whis' Journey to the West!

**A little shout-out to TFS, you guys rock!**

**Also some added crossovers.**

* * *

After arriving at the other side of the tunnel, Bills and Whis made their way into a different universe where it's own god of destruction is currently dormant.

"We must not waste too much time in this place because unlike you, he doesn't oversleep for decades." said Whis.

After picking his ear, Bills flicks off the ear wax from his finger and said, "Yeah, yeah, let's go then."

As the two gods starts traveling to several locations in the western quad of the universe, Bills spots a planet and said, "Hey, this planet looks interesting, lets check it out!"

Whis close his eyes and said, "You do not want to got there, trust me."

"Why not?"

"Planet Pork isn't exactly known to be a very hospitable place for visitors."

Bills huffs and said, "You go on and look for a better planet than that, if it has pork then no way I'm skipping this!"

"Okay." said Whis as he heads off on his own.

The purple cat flies to Planet Pork and mumbles to himself, "Not very hospitable? Probably because the visitors are among those people who couldn't eat pork, can't believe they actually exist...maybe I should wipe them out one day." while looking for a place to land.

"Screw this!"

As Bills lands right over an apartment building, the purple then realize that there's something strange about this planet...the city seems to be abandoned!

After checking the area, the purple cat started to wonder what could have happened when he notice the aroma that filled the air. Bills begin to sniff the air and thought to himself, "It smells like barbecue, maybe someone is there nearby." before heading off to the direction where the smell came from. That's when the purple cat came across a restaurant that for some reason is sitting in the middle of a desert.

"Seems like the owner of the restaurant has no sense of location."

The purple cat enters the building and saw a woman waiting for him.

The woman bows to him and said, "Welcome to the **豬耳 Restaurant** and please feel welcome as I will show you the place before bringing you to the table."

Bills looks around and became mildly interested in the setting of the place but what really catches his attention is the fact that despite being in the remote area, the restaurant's somehow filled with plenty of customers. However, being a god himself, the purple cat could tell something's wrong as he notice that the people seated are in fact dead as they're nothing but bunch of rotting corpses lying on the tables.

As they enter the kitchen, Bills see the meat cooking are in fact corpses and soon the woman who was supposed to show him around quickly turns into a pile of sand along with the customers seated in their respective tables.

"Show yourself!"

A pig-like figure dressed as cook comes in with a rake and squeals loudly just before he begins his assault on the purple cat.

Meanwhile, Whis waits for Bills to arrive and notice an explosion from where Planet Pork happens to be.

"He just couldn't hold on." Whis thought to himself.

Bills arrives from the direction of the explosion and said, "It was awful, this place...it's sick!"

"I told you not to go there, the planet is inhospitable." said Whis.

"It's not that...what I just saw...it's going to give me a nightmare for years." said the purple cat.

"I think your nightmare will become the least of your worries."

"How is that?"

Whis took a deep breath and said, "You made a mess in your colleague's universe and not only that, you have once again polluted the space. With the rubbles flying all over, you're littering and that can hurt the environment."

"Oh god not this again." Bills thought.

"The space ducks needs to fly in order to get to the place where they would mate." Whis continues.

"Shut up about the space ducks, you always go on about the space ducks, shut up about them already!" Bills yelled.

"Space ducks are majestic, without them, the environment would be lifeless and void. Bills, you have been littering for as long as I can remember and doing so in your universe is one thing."

"It's Beerus!" yelled the purple cat.

Whis ignores him and continues his ramble, "You always throw things away and that adds another pollution to the environment, not to mention..."

Bills begins to hear a fly buzzing around his head and tries to swat it away to no avail. Unable to do anything about Whis' ramble about nature, the dangers of littering and pollution, the purple cat has no choice but to sit through the whole thing.

"...and so as long you destroy the planet in a more proper manner by making sure there's no space large space debris flying around, then nature would be safe, even if it's just dust floating in space."

"You have been very, very naughty!"

The purple cat pulls out the ear plugs from his ears and said, "You're finished already? You never care about this kind of stuff before, what's up with you? Did something happen over the past years?"

"Have you ever heard of something that goes, dun, dun, dun?" Whis asks.

"What?"

"It's something that goes 'dun, dun, dun."

"What are you talking about?"

"Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun."

"Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun?"

Then the music starts and Whis begins to sing.

"Only you...can balance the universe..."

"Only you..."

Bills sweat drops as he watches his attendant continues to sing horribly.

"At least he didn't have a microphone with him this time."

Meanwhile, somewhere in this alternate universe's Earth...

A man lies on the sand thinking to himself, "It's been five years since that incident with that horned girl...to think I managed to survive those two encounters with her, what a fucked up miracle to experience." shortly before an empty soda can hits him in the face.

"Did you see that? I hit that dumbass from that distance!"

"Awesome, let me try!"

The next one flies right over the man's head.

"Hey, stop throwing things in the beach!" someone yelled.

After two kids ran off, a young woman walks toward the man and said, "Are you okay Bando?"

"Oh, it's you, aren't you supposed to be at the university right now?" asked Bando.

"It's the 'Golden Week', we're off during this time." the woman answers.

"Whatever, just get lost okay? Leave me alone?"

"You've never changed after all these years." the woman sighed as she went to pick up the litters that the kids have thrown earlier.

Bando grins and said, "I know and I have no intention to do so."

"The cybernetic parts is even a bigger pain than the time that horned girl cut me apart, those sands have to make it tougher to move...oh well." he thought to himself.

While no longer having the lust for violence he once had five years before, the former operative from the **SAT **couldn't help but wonder why he's having an uneasy feeling like something is going to happen.

He then shakes his head, saying, "No, no, that can't be it, only horned girl still around would rather freeload at that and she has been..." when he heard someone yelling, "Mayu, where have you been?"

The woman turns to see her short haired friend wearing a cap in order to cover the horns that have been on her head for her entire life.

"Nana, watch out!"

Nana slips on a discarded beer bottle and fell face first into the sand as some of her artificial limbs flies right off. Nana then moaned as Mayu came over to help up her friend saying, "You're never really careful are you?"

Nana nervously laughs before noticing Bando lying on the sand not far from them.

"Bando? Why are you sleeping on the beach?"

"Go away you stupid girls, just leave me alone." said Bando.

Bando then sighs knowing while the tragedy that happened five years ago may have been over, but one can never know what lies in store. Especially when the two unknown beings flew from the sky and arrives at the local restaurant, surprising many people as they have never seen a couple of aliens before, let alone a purple cat-like creature wearing an Egyptian styled garment and his ambigiously homosexual partner.

"I say, this Earth sure is different from the one that Goku lives in." said Bills.

"Yes, it is from another universe after all but it does look very fabulous!" said Whis.

* * *

**What's going to happen next? Find out in the next chapter!**

**Also, that's it for the cameo appearance from the characters from "Elfen Lied" for the time being.  
**


End file.
